KERFLUFFLE

I, Jesus B. Panoramica, would like to comment on a curious recent addition to my cosmos.  Specifically, a few murdered birds ago, I smelt a foreign smell in the space that always has dead dried bloodless food for me.  I don't speak of the common foreign smells--those created by you bipeds:  your sweats and excrements, laughs and flatulence, bedrooms and perfumes.  These bore me.  But one of my kind.  A member of the Great Feline Family, which has and does and will dominate every living and sentient object in this world and every world until at every Meow every knee shall bow and every tongue loll in furry envy and praise.

The smell seemed to be upstairs--a place I rarely go for it's been dominated recently by one of the great apes, a dubious representative of the equally dubious simian family.  Yet duty--also known as curiosity--called and I glided up the s stairs to check it out.

You can imagine my surprise.  In the room that is not the great ape's, a creature lurked that somehow laid claim to being a colleague of mine in the arts of global domination, absolute cunning, unmitigated intelligence, and unparalleled beauty, but whose physical attributes were so bizarre as to almost entirely discredit the claim.  Imagine this.  A face like Groucho Marx.  No solid body to speak of yet in its place such a chaotic mass of fur as to shame Jupiter's bulk and make Snuffaluffagus look like a stray hair on an ant.

Its name is Kerfluffle.  Naturally, sensing my vast superiority, it hackled and hissed.  In response, I performed the old ruse of feigning fear and running downstairs, leaving it to my stupid brother to duke it out with that ridiculous hairball.  Of course, she believed my ploy and now assumes I am like the others--dumb, easily cowed, forgetful.  But no.  Even now I forge strategies in the far fires of my vast kitty soul.  I shall slowly strike terror.  I shall avenge.

In the meantime, the question remains--what is this thing? Why is it here? What are its origins? Why does it never leave?  I've been consulting the ancient oracles regarding strange unions between the impossibly huge balls of hair that used to roam the universe and randomly mate with Marxists of all descriptions in all manner of joining.  I shall report back in due course.